Are Holidays Good for our Nervous System?!

Have you heard of poo shock?
Maybe you've even had it.
 

When some people go on holiday they simply can't poo.
Sometimes it's for a few days, or maybe you've had a child (or you were one) who did not poo for the entire holiday!?!

Or maybe you get the opposite? Where you find yourself turning the key to your 2 bed bungalow only to sit on the loo for the next 2 hours?

Have you ever arrived at your holiday destination and suddenly down with some mystery fatigue? A scratchy throat? An odd fever? Or even felt like vomiting? And then you come good again a day later?
 

Were you sick? 
Were you just really tired? 
Or maybe it was a stress response?

Is the first thing you unpack the bottle - you simply need a drink! Or maybe you arrive at your hotel to find you can only sit, and stare at the telly, and eat?

Maybe on holidays you argue with your partner unexpectedly. Or maybe you even feel a panic coming on - but how can this be... this is meant to be an amazing holiday. 
 

Holidays are incredible - we know this to be true.

But they can be a shock to the nervous system too, and can even cause nervous system dis-regulation.

It might be for a day, or 3, or it might be for the whole trip.
 

But it is real and we feel it. 

Consider for a moment the shock... Your nervous system was successfully ebbing and flowing between its sympathetic and parasympathetic rhythms in harmony with your environment, masterfully riding the waves of daily routines in its familial homey home... and then all of a sudden the temperature has changed 20 degrees, it's muggy and there's 1000 new smells, sounds, sights and people everywhere and you're meant to suddenly be at the extravaganza in 15 mins...

Ohh I need to lie down...

When I go to our summer campground as soon as I step onto our sandy plot my nervous system sings. While there may be new landscaping, or the toilets are upgraded, I know where everything is, I know the rhythms and smells of this place, and I know 3/4 of the people too.

When I holiday in new places I'm like a dog in a new home, pacing all night, my ears are pricked and I'm hearing every sound, smelling every smell, sensing every grain of sand. (And of course wondering if there is a crazy axe murder hiding in our closet. Because there is always so many of them! ;))

If I'm away with just the children (without my partner) I'm AWAKE!! My healthy nervous system vigilantly scans my new environment and I'm ready to save my precious babies (who are now teenagers) from a thousands of possible threats. 

We all know the too busy holiday - 16 countries in 16 days! With an overload of art, architecture, parties, adventures, touring, eating and drinking only to arrive home so exhausted we need another holiday.

This itinerary takes no account of the fact that we are a real live human.

Or maybe you've signed up to a 10 day silent retreat hoping to find bliss and contentment but instead discover you're being tormented by their own thoughts and your knees and back are screaming - how can sitting can be so deadly?!

Or, like me, you had too much enthusiasm and willingly agreed to a 3 day hiking holiday. My first day was chats and laughter. Day 2 we walked alone in silence, consoling our sore bodies. By the end of that day I was yodelling to the tree tops in pain. By Day 3 I had become a robot - 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2 - counting my every step. 

Or have you ever had the opposite experience? A holiday that is so relaxing, so peaceful that actually getting back to real life feels almost impossible. You've had this glorious time chilling, chatting, sleeping, reading, eaten, swimming and conversing with nature. You've connected with yourself, with your family, with nature. Maybe you've even found the true meaning of life. You've found peace and tranquility connected with your higher purpose. This is the real you :)

Only to find when you get back to city life, that feeling vanishes, everything feels difficult and now you feel more stressed than before the holiday! 

Holidays can be a nice break but they can disrupt our normal nervous system rhythms, or slow us down too much that our fast paced schedule seems insurmountable. That may not be a bad thing if we want to make a slow change in our lives but if we need to keep that pace up we might better off avoiding the parasympathetic plunge.

We have to be careful we don't get holiday soft and then blister ourselves in the daily mill. 

There are many examples of how a supposed perfect holiday just did not match our nervous system needs and perhaps you are reflecting on some right now.

But to finish I wanted to share one clients experience, because like many it was meant to be a perfect holiday, and yet she felt awfully anxious.

Her and her new partner had hired a beautiful shack in the beautiful West Australian bush. A get away from the city to soak up the natural beauty. A spa on the deck. Sunsets over tree tops. No other people around. A rare find. Just her and her new beau. First holiday together. 20 minutes off the main road. 

If reading that does not give you cause for concern then you are not thinking like a nervous system.
 

Nervous systems seek safety and familiarity. 

They were not familiar with the land they were on. There was no one to help if anything went wrong. They were not experienced wilderness folk. (Australian bush burns) There was a 20 minute drive to a main road. One road in and out. Unknown territory. While he may have been a hot piece of toast, this was their first holiday together. They had no evidence of how they holiday together, let alone if he was the axe murder who was previously hiding in my cupboard!

Her nervous system knew all of that even if it could not put it in words. And it was in a threat response even in the spa while the sun was setting.
 

So how do we plan our holidays with our nervous system in mind?!

Start by asking your body and nervous system what it wants.

Where, body and nervous system, would you like to go for a holiday?
Who would you like to go on holidays with? (Not who you 'should' invite.)
How many days before or after the trip do you want to transition?
How do you want to feel at the end of the holiday given what you have coming up after the holiday?

Is this holiday to offset a big year of work? Or is this an adventure? Is it re-establish co-regulation rhythms with your partner or family/friends? Or perhaps to get back in touch with your soul, the sun, nature and the cosmos.

Take a little quiet space and simply say the names of the places, the people, the activities, the dates and sense your body. If you find yourself tensing up, holding your breath, overthinking, or getting fidgety, that's a sign your nervous system is not happy!

Keep saying the options until you feel your feet on the ground, your body relax, your breath settle, your eyes soften and a little contented smile creeps it's way across your face!

If words are not your friend pull out a map of the places you're curious to visit and move your finger about till it land peacefully on one place. Or use teddies, or salt and pepper shakers, and give them your family/friends names, and see which ones gets to come on your holiday.

You may discover your nervous system is in conflict with a great idea, an obligation, or way too much enthusiasm, but the changes can be small.

Don't book activities on the first day, holiday with one less family, go away with friends only or your partner only, take only gourmet food and your joggers, come home 2 days early (but don't tell anyone)...
 

Your body will let you know. 

And if you try this activity and you can't believe that's what your body/nervous system wants - You want to holiday at granny's house, eat fruit toast, and read?! - remember your nervous system is gonna win someway so it's better to start giving it head place at the decision table. 

And watch as your holidays become more nourishing, more fun, and you banish that holiday hangover feeling for good. 
 

Now that's my kind of holiday!